The Adjustment Period

It is hard to believe that it's been an entire year since we bought into our new house - which I suppose is really not all that new anymore.  We all like the new place and new neighborhood, but I think it's taking us longer to adjust to all this newness than we thought it would. 

Part of that is simply the nostalgia for what was.  Personally, I miss our old house, with all of its charm and quirks.  I miss being able to walk everywhere and not having to rely on a car for everything.  I miss our neighbors, who were all so friendly and fun and awesome. I miss our town, which was so diverse and yet everyone we met had values similar to ours.

The kids miss our old house more than I thought they would too.  Elise often mentions that she misses our old house "that was so much taller" than this one and that she misses the "green couch right when you come in" even though of course we still have that couch though it is not situated in that exact position.  More importantly though, she misses her friends.  A lot more than I ever dreamed would be possible for a five year old. 

This has been a challenging year with friendships for our little girl.  The structure of her day, with half day kindergarten, half day enrichment program and end of day after school care has really made it hard for her Elise - who is quite reserved - to make close connections with anyone since she is not consistently with anyone over the full course of the day.  Most of the girls that she is friends with now she only sees for part of the day - and most of those girls already have best buds from preschool.

It's not that she doesn't have friends - she has actually made lots of friends this year, some of whom she would even consider good friends - but she has not yet made a friend with the kind of connection that she made with friends from our old neighborhood.  She asks about her buddies Audrey and Sara Jane multiple times a week.  Still.  Some days she looks sad or starts crying out of nowhere and when I ask her what's wrong she responds that she misses her buddy (and "sister") Audrey.

We try to have a monthly play date with Audrey, but sometimes I actually think that makes things worse.  The next several days after the play date are always so hard for her - she really truly aches for her friend when they are apart. I am hoping that this fall when she will be able to see the same people the whole day she will make close connections with new friends.  But we will continue to nurture her connection with Audrey and Sara Jane, who are obviously more than just some pals made because they went to the same preschool.  They have made true, strong and lasting bonds with each other.  It is remarkable and beautiful.

Lucas has not had problems making close new friends and rarely talks about our old home.  What he does really miss is walking places.  Almost every time we go out to the car to go somewhere he asks if we can walk instead.  He also misses our old backyard where he could just go outside and play with minimal supervision.  Our new yard is not fenced in, the front yard is small and very close to the street (which is busier than it seems like it would be for a little street in a little neighborhood) and the backyard is full of trees and brush and a creek that I don't particularly trust him to be alone around. He definitely misses being able to just run into the backyard and play.

On the flip side, I think that the move - as well as the age - has made Elise and Lucas a lot closer.  They play together better than ever and really, truly enjoy each others' company. I would say that Lucas considers Elise his best friend right now.  They have very elaborate games they play together - using the framework of cars, which are Luke's thing but treating them like people in a game of house - which is Elise's thing.  Sure, they definitely still have their fights and their moments when they drive each other crazy but they really do have a blast together too.

Overall I would say that the move was the right thing to do and we are happy with our choice.  We will continue to adjust, and before we know it, it will feel like this has always been our home.