Happy Halloween!

Week Four: The Inevitable Compairsons

Logically of course I know that my children are different people with different personalities and different skills. Of course I know this. No two children or experiences are exactly the same and I would not be naive enough to think that they would be. But really, no matter what you do, you can't help but compare, even when you are trying not to. You can't help but compare the experiences you have as a parent because it's what you know; it's what you have to draw from.

So far, Ellie and Luke are about as different as babies could possibly be. Ellie was a feisty baby - she cried a lot and was...shall we say...high demand. Luke is much more laid back - he sleeps nearly constantly and when he's not sleeping, he's starring into space in "chill" mode or cries half heartedly for a minute before being soothed to sleep. Ellie came out of the womb with amazing head control, strong legs, was very stable and was ahead of the curve with physical development from day one. Luke, on the other hand, is a floppy baby, too sleepy and laid back to concentrate on building his muscles quite yet and I think it would be safe to bet that he's not going to hit physical milestones anywhere as quickly as Ellie did. Ellie nursed for almost an hour every time she ate, but was sleeping for 4 or more hours at a time after the first two weeks. Luke can't seem to stay awake while he's eating, so he only eats for 10-15 minutes but eats every two hours (3 if I am very, very lucky!).

We knew our children would be vastly different, but before "Juan" was born, we wondered what ways they would be the same. Would Juan be a she? (no) Would he have red hair? (yes) Would he hate being in the car? (no) But the biggest question was - would he have eczema issues and allergies that Ellie had?! My pediatrician said that the chances of Luke having the same allergies (dairy, soy) as Ellie were pretty slim. Not to say that it isn't impossible, or that he wouldn't have different allergies, but it is just not that likely that he would have the same allergies. I decided that I wanted to find out pretty quickly whether I'd have to do an elimination diet again (Ellie was 6 weeks old when I finally tried this) so from the time that Luke was born, I have been eating everything that he could possibly have a problem with. Spicy food, acidic food, tons of dairy and soy and wheat and eggs. Might as well put all your cards in, right? So I am happy to report that here we are at 4 weeks and Luke's system appears to be fine! He could develop issues later (Ellie's allergy issues really took off in her 4th week) but so far so good.
Ellie and Luke play with dolls
It's hard not to compare your children, but one experience is not better than the other. It's just different. It's fun to have different experiences and see their different personalities, even at this point. They are going to be very different children and we are excited to see the different ways they learn, grow and interact.

Week Three: Still Sleepy

Luke is three weeks old this week and I must say that not all that much has changed from last week, but he is changing and growing in little ways. He is still an incredibly sleepy baby - now he sleeps maybe 19 hours a day instead of 20. He is gaining better control of his head and focusing on things a little bit more, but has not mastered either of these things quite yet. He still eats every two hours at night, which has sent me into the throws of sleep deprivation, but every once in a while he'll go three hours and I will wake up feeling incredibly refreshed. Amazing how the body adjusts to not getting sleep!

We are getting to know him a little more, as he has begun to clearly voice his likes and dislikes. His dislikes include being cold, taking a bath, being put down and being in his cradle. His likes include sleeping, eating, cuddling with a warm body, his big sister Ellie, his bear mobile and the baby Bjorn. He tends to get fussy every night at dinner time like clockwork, but it seems to be a social thing, because as soon as he's picked up and joins the family at the table he calms right down. He just doesn't want to miss out on the quality family time!

Ellie continues to be a great big sister, and so far the novelty of having a baby in the house has not worn off (as our pediatrician warned might happen). Last week, Oma, Ellie and I were walking home from a quick trip to the playground and we passed a woman pushing a stroller with a baby and a preschooler walking beside the stroller. As we passed them, Ellie said "We have a new baby at our house too." See the video in the post below to get a sense of how crazy Ellie is about her little brother (and how tolerant he is of her!).

Sibling Love (and tolerance)

Two Weeks Already?

On Monday we went to see the doctor yet again, only this time it was just for Luke's well-baby two week check up (two weeks already?!). Since we were going to be there anyway, we decided to take Ellie in to get her flu shot. Managing two children in the doctor's office (even with two parents present) was an exhausting experience and firmed up the fact that I will never take the two of them by myself if I want to maintain any semblance of sanity. They actually both did as well as could be expected, but we were there for almost an hour and a half and in between the poking and the prodding and the hunger and the shot it was a lot of craziness over a long period of time with little entertainment. Marty and I were both working VERY hard to keep both children happy simultaneously. The good news is that Luke is healthy and has already surpassed his birth weight (he's now up to 8 lbs) and his belly button and circumcision are healing well enough that we can start giving him a real bath (as opposed to just a sponge bath). Ellie was a champ with her flu shot - she didn't even cry - mostly thanks to her Daddy who spent a lot of the hour we were waiting "practicing" giving her a shot. When it was time for the real thing, it didn't even seem to phase her.

That afternoon Marty had to teach his college class and our daycare was closed for Columbus Day (is that really a holiday? really?) so I had my first ever extended period with the two kids all by myself. I have to admit, I was completely terrified that it was going to be an afternoon of lots and lots of tears and meltdowns (from all three of us) but it actually went really well. There were barely any tears at all! It definitely gave me confidence that I can, in fact, handle being the mother of two (a little too late to come to be contemplating that point, I know, but still).

Elise has been so wonderful with Lucas - she has been the best big sister we could have ever imagined. We were really worried about how she would react to Mommy being busy with the baby and to her generally not being the center of the universe. However, so far she has not had any tantrums, has not shown any jealousy or animosity towards her brother and has not reverted to "baby" behavior to get attention. I was feeling really great about it until the pediatrician told us that the older child usually does a really great job for the first 2-4 weeks and then the novelty wears off and that's when they start to act out. I am hoping that that will not apply to our little girl!
Ellie with her cousin Abby
Ellie's favorite thing to say about the baby is "What's wrong with Lucas?" and "What's Luke crying about?". She says these things constantly even though most of the time he is not even crying or upset at all. I think she just imagines that he is crying because then he'd actually be doing something interesting since now all he does is sleep. On another note, we are starting to realize that there is a very practical reason why people find out the gender of their baby ahead of time when they have an older child. Ellie still refers to Luke as her "brother-sister" ("what's my brother/sister doing?") and does not seem to get the concept of just plain brother. Hopefully that will come in time. She is very loving with him and she shines in her role as helper. I think that she gets a little frustrated that he won't hold any of the toys that she gives him, but she likes the fact that she doesn't have to share her food and toys with him. When her cousin Abby was visiting, I overheard Ellie say to Abby "I'm a big sister. I love my little brother/sister Luke." I almost started crying it was so adorable (and my hormones are wacky right now).

Luke is a very mellow and sleepy baby. Yes, I realize that we are only two weeks in, but I would say that he still sleeps a minimum of 20 hours a day and I have no recollection of Ellie being so sleepy after the first few days. This is not translating into us being the most well-rested parents ever (he usually only goes 2-3 hours between feedings at night) but he usually goes right back to sleep after eating for about 15 minutes so even though I am not getting lots of sleep in a row, I am still getting enough sleep to function. He doesn't cry that much and hasn't woken Ellie up in the night yet (knock on wood) which was one of our biggest fears about the baby because Ellie is such a light sleeper. Hurray!

So basically, the four of us are muddling through, figuring out our new roles taking it one day at a time. And so far, we're doing ok.

Another Day, Another Doctor

Boy, our insurance company is going to love us! First an appendectomy and a two day hospital stay, then a birth and a two day hospital stay, then a trip to the ER - all within three weeks! Yes, Luke is not even a week old yet and already had his first ER visit.

We were only home from the hospital one full day when we took Lucas to his first Emergency Room visit on the advice of our pediatricians office. On Friday afternoon, Luke's eye started oozing mucus and was starting to look a little pink and inflamed. Ordinarily we wouldn't think too much of it, but because he was only four days old we thought we should call the doctor to make sure that was not a sign of something too horrible. The nurse said that it was probably and infection and with a baby that young, we really shouldn't fool around. Get him to the ER! Of course I imagined the worst (he's going blind!) the whole way there, but my mind was quickly set at ease by the friendly docs and nurses at the hospital. They did a few tests and ruled out some really nasty things (like baby eye herpes) and settled on thinking that it was a form of conjunctivitis. They gave us an ointment to apply on it every four hours and told us to follow up with our pediatrician the next day to make sure it was getting better, not worse.

So on Saturday, we took him to the pediatrician who confirmed that the eye was looking better and it was nothing for us to freak out about. Thank goodness! While he was there, we got to get a weigh in to check on his progress. He was 7 lbs 6oz when we were discharged from the hospital (down from 7 lbs 14oz) and by Saturday he was back up to 7 lb 8 oz. He doesn't eat very much or very often (particularly in comparison to Ellie who ate for like 45-55 minutes every 1.5 to 2 hours. He eats for 5-10 minutes every 2-3.5 hours) so it was a relief to hear that he is starting to gain some weight back.

At the hospital, Luke was treated like a complete rock star - everyone gushed over how adorable he is like he might possibly be the cutest child ever born. Seriously, nurses kept coming into the room saying "I just want to get a look at this beautiful baby I keep hearing about". We thought perhaps people at this hospital were a little baby crazy, but when I took him to the pediatrician the next day, the exact same thing happened! Everyone in the office fawned all over him and a random nurse came in to "take a peek at this baby everyone is saying is so cute". He's not even a week old and he's already going to develop a serious ego!

As lovely as it is to hear that your child is adorable, we hope our hospital and doctor visits for Luke are behind us now until his newborn appointment in two weeks. However, on Monday Ellie woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible, hacking cough, wheezing and struggling to breathe (we are thinking perhaps croup?) and of course a crusty eye. As Marty and I talked about whether or not we should take her to the hospital, we realized that it is quite possible that the next year of our life (at least) is going to be filled with doctors visits. As much as Ellie loves to kiss on her little brother, they are going to pass everything to each other constantly. Luckily, her breathing settled and we opted to not take her to the hospital. She now just seems to have a bad cold. I am sure she will share it with her little brother!

The Birth Story

Warning: If you had a difficult, long exhausting labor and delivery, you might want to skip the following story, as it might possibly make your blood boil.

I awoke on Monday morning to the sound of Elise crying. I looked at the clock, which said 5:00am. This completely confused me because while Ellie is a relatively early riser, she rarely wakes up before 6:30. Since waking this early is not norm, I decided to go in her room to see what was wrong. When I got out of bed, I felt a very distinct “release of fluid”. To be honest, I had no idea if this was my water breaking or if I was having a random bladder control problem. When my water broke with Ellie, there was absolutely no mistaking that’s what it was – it was a huge gush. This was more like a slow leak.

So I went into Ellie’s room and asked her what was wrong. She said “I want to wake up” and I told her it was too early so she needed to go back to sleep. She asked me to pat her back, so I sat for a few minutes patting her and realized that I was having contractions. They weren’t strong or painful at all, just a little cramp about every five to seven minutes. I went back to my room and laid down and kept track of the contractions while getting a little more rest. When our alarm went off at 6:15, I told Marty that I’d been having contractions every 5 minutes for about an hour and that it was possible that my water broke. I’d had some Braxton Hicks contractions on a few other occasions, but because of the possible water breaking issue we thought we should probably proceed under the assumption that this was the real deal. We went about our day, taking showers, eating breakfast and getting Ellie ready for daycare.

I called my midwife around 7:30am when the contractions went to 3 minutes apart (but still weren’t painful). She said that if I wanted pain medication, I should go ahead and come into the hospital, but if I wanted to labor at home, I should plan to come in when the contractions were painful and it felt like I should be in the hospital. It was the moment of truth for me – to medicate or not to medicate - this time I could actually decide! I’d been telling everyone from the moment I was pregnant this time that I was going to run to the hospital at the first contraction to make sure that this time I wouldn’t miss out on my epidural. However, here I was faced with the opportunity to get the epidural I have been dreaming of for two years and I surprised myself by deciding against it. Yes, I am insane. But the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of feeling so alert and great after the birth and the baby being so alert too. Plus, they say that your second labor and delivery is always much faster than the first and I made it through without drugs last time right?

Around 7:45am Marty took Ellie to day care and I settled in with a book. Then I realized that my contractions had gone from 3 minutes apart back to 7 minutes apart. Either I wasn't really in labor or it was slowing down because I wasn't doing anything. So I went ahead and started cleaning the kitchen in hopes of speeding things along. Our neighbor Karen came over to keep me company while Marty was gone and she made me stop cleaning. By the time Marty got home and Karen left at 8:45, the contractions were back to 5 minutes apart but still not painful.

The painful contractions started very suddenly and intensely at 9:00am. Marty was making fun of me because in between painful, face contorting, bent over moaning contractions I was putting coupons away. Hey, just because I'm in labor doesn't mean I don't have things to get done! But by 9:30 I wasn't doing anything but writhing around in pain, yelling at myself for passing on the epidural yet again. I am a fool! People shouldn't choose to put themselves through excruciating pain like this! The contractions were now 3 minutes apart and very, very intense. Marty suggested that we go ahead and get to the hospital. Everyone says that your second labor is much shorter than your first, but I had really only been in labor for about a half hour. Since I'd passed on the medication, I was worried that I'd get to the hospital at like 4 cm dilated and be hooked up to machines and not be able to walk around and go through this pain in a place that's not as familiar or comfortable as my own home. I had one more really, really horribly painful contraction that turned the tide and I finally agreed with Marty that we should go ahead and go to the hospital.

Luckily the hospital is only about 2 miles from our house and after a short but painful trip (cobblestones may be nice to look at but man do they hurt when you're bouncing around on them when you're in labor!) we arrived at the ER at 9:50am. Marty parked the car illegally and rushed me into registration. He kept telling the woman at registration who was asking me questions about verifying my address and phone number that I was about to give birth in the next four seconds and we needed to get this show on the road. She didn't really take him seriously and frankly I didn't either. I told Marty to relax because it wasn't that imminent but Marty insisted until another nurse believed him and got the midwife, Erica Keller. Erica asked if I felt like I could make it upstairs or if I wanted to try to push right there (in the lobby of the ER!?) but I told her I'd be ok - let's get upstairs. At this point, the security guard came in and told Marty to move the car. Marty argued that I was about to have a baby and he couldn't leave me but the security guard didn't seem to care. Marty went to move the car and Erica put me in a wheelchair and literally RAN up and down the hallways to the elevator into the birthing room.

They helped me into the bed and checked my progress - DEJA VU - I was fully dilated and the baby's head was crowning. It was time to push! Again, I had no time to officially check into the hospital and this time didn't even have time to get on a hospital gown. But I immediately panicked because Marty was not back from parking the car. Erica said that I could try to wait if I wanted to, but if I had to push I should. I was determined to wait for Marty so I breathed through it until Marty rushed into the room at 10:03am and I began pushing. After three big pushes, Lucas Wolfe Molloy came out at 10:09am! One hour of hard labor and six minutes of pushing - I am definitely from good peasant stock built for birthing babies!

Lucas came out looking very purple (but breathing fine) with a head full of strawberry blond hair and huge navy blue eyes, alert and happy. He weighed in at 7 lbs 14oz, was 20 3/4 inches long and cute as can be!