Time Out

When my parents first offered to watch the kids for a few days so Marty and I could spend some quality time together and catch up on some much needed sleep, I have to admit I was excited about the idea. Ever since Lucas was born (17 months ago now!) Marty and I have been in what feels like a perpetual state of exhaustion. First it was new born craziness - which just leaves everyone exhausted because basically no one sleeps for more than three hours in a row for what feels like eternity - and then when we got over the infant hump, Lucas settled into his predictable routine of being an early riser (between 4:30am -5:45am) ever since. Throw in his habit of waking up an average of one night a week in the middle of the night for no apparent reason (and not getting back to sleep easily) and you have some tired parents.

But let's also not forget to add Elise's middle-of-the-night wake ups into the mix. Elise consistently slept through the night like a champ without fail nearly every night since she was about 7 months old, but last summer I decided (in what I now imagine must have been a sleep-deprived moment of insanity) that Elise was too old to wear pull-ups anymore and we needed to end that. So basically she stopped wearing pull-ups but didn't stop having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Which meant that she was waking up 1-2 times a night to go to the bathroom (and of course was not just getting up and going - she was waking us up and telling us she had to go and then often having trouble falling back to sleep). This meant that from last June until about the end of November we were going to bed at 10:30, waking up with Elise around midnight and then again at 3am and then waking up for the day with Lucas around 4:30. Luckily, Elise's bladder has matured significantly in the past few months and she doesn't have to get up in the middle of the night much anymore (typically gets up one time, once a week) and Lucas usually gets up closer to 5:30 these days. Even still, Marty and I are sleepers. We have never been the type of people who can just grab a few odd hours of sleep and feel refreshed. That is not who we are.

However, I am not saying all this to complain. We realize that we don't have it bad - by any stretch - on the sleep front. For the most part, our children sleep through the night for 10-11 hours most nights. For that, we are extremely grateful and even consider ourselves lucky. Our neighbor's son didn't sleep through the night for the first time until he was 3. THREE! So, like I said, we don't have have it so bad. But, still, we're tired.

So back to my original point. Several months ago, my parents offered to watch the kids for a weekend so that Marty and I could get away. Of course we loved the idea of getting some much needed sleep, but we were hesitant to do it for several reasons. 1. Lucas wakes up really, really stupid early. No one should have to get up that early. We created him, so we feel responsible for the early wake ups. It seemed cruel to have my parents, who are not morning people either, deal with getting up in the 4 or 5 o'clock hour no matter how cute he is. 2. We'd never left Lucas with someone over night before. Marty and I have both had weekends away, but never at the same time. Elise has had many-a-sleepover at her grandparents houses over the years so our going away probably wouldn't phase her. Plus we can just explain to her what's happening. Totally different with a baby who doesn't really understand that you're leaving or that you'll be back. 3. As working parents, weekends are our time with the kids. Weekdays tend to be a series of logistics - getting ready to go somewhere or preparing meals or cleaning up or getting ready for bed. We live for our weekends - lots of quality time, no rushing - just fun hanging out with the kids.

We finally decided to take our kids-free mini-vacation the first week in March and this worked out well for many reasons. First of all, Lucas has been sleeping better lately - even getting up as late as 6:30 on occasion, so it didn't seem as cruel to my parents. Next, we've left Lucas with a babysitter a few times in recent weeks and he seemed to be perfectly fine with it so the overnight thing was the next logical step. Finally, Marty and I both had a ton of vacation time so we decided that instead of giving up a precious weekend with the kids we'd go during the week where we'd only really be missing out on a few hours each day. Perfect. Even better, we had (yet another!) snow storm that resulted in snow days (no work!) at the end of last week, so we went into our vacation right after four days in a row of quality time with the kids.

I am not going to lie. The trip was awesome. There was adult conversation! There was waking up after 8am! There was a hot tub! We went to the mountains for two days/ three nights and did lots of quiet, relaxing, peaceful activities (horseback riding, snowshoeing, massages, shopping) in addition to lots of sleeping, reading and eating. It was great and we really do feel like all that rest and relaxation will make us better parents as a result. The kids were great for Oma and Opa - though apparently Lucas was not showing off his ability to sleep anywhere close to the 6 o'clock hour (sorry Oma and Opa! I swear he has been doing it lately!) and Elise was not all that interested in sleeping through the night either (yikes! double sorry!) but they were otherwise angels. (Thank you sooooo much Oma and Opa!) We had a great time, but missed the kids so much I really don't think we could have been gone for another minute. It was the perfect length of time.

Nothing has ever felt as good as walking in the door and experiencing the joy on their little faces and excited hugs, kisses and cuddles that followed for (literally) hours after our arrival home. And then we got another three full days of hanging out with them before heading back to the daily grind. Bliss.