House of Crank

Much like the aforementioned weather here on the east coast, the Molloy household has been having similar drastic ups and downs...when it comes to sleep. Like everything with parenting, we've once again learned the very valuable lesson of not getting too comfortable because it's only a matter of time before everything changes...yet again!

Lucas began sleeping through the night right around 11 or 12 weeks. We'd put him down around 11pm and he'd sleep until about 6am. After a few weeks of this happening consistently (with him sleeping even later - sometimes until 9 or 10am) we tried pushing his bedtime up a littler earlier - a half an hour at a time. This method was going really well (we'd gotten so that we were putting him down between 8 and 9pm and he'd sleep until around 6 or 7am) until he got sick at the beginning of January. Suddenly, several times a week he was waking up once in the middle of the night, I thought, because of his congestion. But if I aspirated him and fed him, typically he'd go right back to sleep.

I was wary of feeding him in the middle of the night because I remember all too well the two solid months of sleep training we did with Ellie to break her of that middle of the night feeding after she'd clearly outgrown it (that had begun with once a night and quickly turned into 2 or 3 middle of the night wake ups/feedings). But Luke was sleeping for about 7 hours before he woke up, and I thought he might legitimately be hungry. He was, after all, still little. With his on again off again fever and horrible cough, I also worried about dehydration. So feeding him was a no-brainer. This pattern continued for several more weeks. He started going to sleep even earlier (between 6:30 and 7) and getting up around 6am, typically waking up around 2am for a snack.
Trying to turn around to see the tv - he is obsessed!
Last week, Lucas slept straight through from 7pm to 6:30 am and then he turned around and did it again the next night! This was extremely exciting because two days in a row seems like more than a fluke. It feels like a pattern (though it's probably mostly wishful thinking). Especially since he hadn't slept through the night at all in nearly two weeks. We were feeling pretty excited and confident that our little guy crossed back over into the land of 12 hours of sleep in a row every night. But the rug was pulled out from under us the very next night when Lucas did not sleep through the night as he had the two previous nights. In fact, not only did he wake up, but he actually woke up twice that night - something he hadn't done in at least two months. Both times he woke up, I fed him and he went right back to sleep. It occurred to me the second time that he got up (a mere three hours after the first wake up) that I probably shouldn't feed him again. I really didn't think he was hungry, but despite my better judgment I fed him because, frankly, 1. I knew he'd go right back to sleep 2. I was really tired and I wanted to go right back to sleep too - I was already worrying about how I was going to function at work the next day 3. I really didn't want him to wake up Ellie, who is still a fairly light sleeper.

Then, of course, problem began to spiral out of control. Night after night he was waking up two or three times, refusing to go back to sleep until he ate. This weekend it all came to a head when he woke up every two hours all night long on Saturday night. His crying woke up Ellie too (who sobbed, "I don't like Lucas crying!" for a good 20 minutes), so we had to try to calm her down in the midst of his insanity. Needless to say, on Sunday the whole family was tired and totally cranky, crabby and snippy with each other all day long. Well, the whole family except for Lucas, who seemed to be pretty much is usual pleasant self. So much is usual happy self that we were left wondering if we'd just imagined the whole thing. Who was that monster last night and what did he do with my laid back little baby?! It was clear to us that something needed to change. He was using me as his pacifier and it had gotten to the point that he couldn't soothe himself back to sleep.
In case you weren't sure if they look alike...there's no doubt!
I was angry at myself because I knew better! We went through this exact same thing with Ellie when she was a baby and I saw it coming with Lucas, but wasn't heeding the warning signals. And now we were all paying the ultimate price: Sleep Deprivation. When you baby is first born and you're getting up every two hours to feed them, this is expected and the norm. The sleep deprivation really isn't that bad because, basically, you get used to it. But once you've had a taste of real sleep and you know the baby is capable of sleeping and you have in your recent memory been sleeping and then suddenly you're not anymore it makes it somehow worse.

So we decided that we were going to have to comfort him in other ways when he woke up instead of feeding him and try to help him find a way to soothe himself. This meant that we were going to have to suck it up and let him cry. No one wants to listen to their baby cry and no one wants the baby to wake up your other child (and neighbors) in the process, but we saw the writing on the wall. So on Sunday night we had a plan. We put Lucas to bed as usual at 7 in his crib in his room, but set up the pack n play in the guest room on the third floor (above us and as far as possible away from Ellie) to serve as the crying room so hopefully he wouldn't disturb anyone else. He woke up at 1am and we took turns rocking, patting and comforting him, as well as leaving him to cry for 10 minute stretches. After more than two hours of solid crying and no signs of self soothing I broke down and fed him and he fell asleep within seconds (he wore himself out with all that crying - it was the first time he's ever shown any of signs of his sisters stubbornness) But on the positive side, he didn't wake up again until 7am.
Ready for big boy food?
The next night I was very nervous because I had to get up at 5am to go down to DC to give a presentation and I was worried sick that he'd have me up all night. But, being the sweet and accommodating baby that he usually is, he slept from 7pm all the way until 5:30am! And he's done the same thing the last two nights as well. I can't imagine that one night of letting him cry (and ultimately giving in and feeding him essentially undoing everything we'd been working for) has anything to do with this new pattern, but I'll take it. The entire household is much happy and much, much less cranky.